Haunted House for Sale

“So, that’s the grand tour,” the realtor said, flashing her pearly whites at Hank. “What do you think?”

“Needs a lot of work,” he said, ticking off items on his fingers. “Every door and window squeaks, not to mention the stairs. I’d have to lubricate all of—”

“That’s minor,” the realtor interjected.

“Hmmph,” Hank said. “Then there’s the insulation. This place is so drafty, I bet doors slam shut on their own a lot, and there are cold spots in some rooms.”

“Nothing a little ductwork won’t fix!”

Hank ran a hand along one of the walls. “You may have noticed stains on the wallpaper and carpeting, even the ceiling. Some of it looks like water, which is bad enough because that means mold, but some is… reddish brown.”

The realtor coughed. “Let’s not be brash. We’d be happy to negotiate a credit for repairs—”

“But you’re already asking almost nothing on account of the rumors.”

“Yes, but the rumors are—”

“Probably true. Regardless, you’d need the patience of a saint to live in this death trap. I’ll pass.”

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13 Responses to “Haunted House for Sale”

  1. Aaron says:

    Hahaha! I love it. “Every door and window squeaks” Hilarious.

  2. ThomG says:

    First, welcome to 3WW, we’re glad you’ve come to play.

    This had a great feel to it. And a great huckster. Imagine trying ot sell a haunted house. Yikes.

  3. Valerie says:

    This is for Three Word Wednesday and is based on a challenge called Genre Savvy.

  4. Valerie says:

    Okay, wow, two comments before I could even add the link! Maybe next time I’ll stick it in the post itself, heh. Thanks guys!

  5. Andy Sewina says:

    Yeah this is a cool story, I like the reddish brown stuff, how ever did hank get out alive? Phew!

  6. Lilibeth says:

    Nicely woven in words and an interesting story as well.

  7. Jay thurston says:

    Realty can be such a tough line of work. You can dress it up, downsize the flaws, but sometimes the places just speak for themselves.

    Welcome to 3WW and thanks for the comment!

  8. Leo says:

    nicely woven words, wonderful story.. & yeah, i guess best to incorporate the link in the post itself 😀

  9. Navya says:

    I like this post, I love your blog. YOU are a proffesional, aren’t you? 🙂
    Just chanced upon your blog (through TWW)

    Have a nice day 🙂


  10. Valerie says:

    Thanks for the comments and the warm welcome, everyone!

    Hank knows the signs, he’s not about to stick around even for a bargain. The poor realtor really does have a mess on her hands.

    I’m not a professional, just someone who likes to write, but thanks for the compliment. 😀

  11. Dee says:

    Loved this – buyer beware story. Good thing Hank was sharp. Welcome to 3ww – hope to read more!

  12. Thomma Lyn says:

    This was a lot of fun! Very well-told.

  13. hmmmm, not interested regardless of the price…. great pace, great story!!! small portions cleave

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