Episode 9 – Stuff Only Flows Downhill

“I have an idea,” Malcolm said, rubbing his hands together. “Horses can swim, right?”

Tessa opened her mouth to answer but stopped herself with a shrug.

“Okay,” he said. “When I say go, drive into the river.”

Now Tessa did speak. “Have you gone as addled as Anth?”

“Just do it!”

Malcolm concentrated on the wooden panels of the wagon. The last time he’d tried the growth spell, well, the explosion had been… startling. And he’d been doing it on something alive, rather than something that used to be alive. But then again, he hadn’t had the proper incentive to get it right before. Like himself standing inside the thing he was trying to grow, with a bunch of pirates getting uncomfortably close.

“Slowly, carefully,” he muttered, sweat dripping down his face. A wave and a flick was all it would take. Wave, and flick. He closed his eyes and motioned with his hands, holding his breath.

Beneath him, the wagon creaked ominously. But it hadn’t exploded… yet. He looked down to see the wood stretching and melding together, intertwining like branches of a tree.

“It worked?” he exclaimed. Tessa glanced at him over her shoulder and paled. He followed her gaze and saw that the pirates were almost on them.

“Go, go, into the river!” Malcolm shouted, and Tessa urged the horses forward. They balked at first, but perhaps driven by the many strange noises behind them, they decided that the river was the safer option. In they plunged, the cold water splashing up the sides of the wagon.

Unfortunately, they hadn’t picked a shallow enough place to cross, and soon the current overcame them and swept them westward. They passed the pirates they’d been trying to escape, who stared slack-jawed at the apparently suicidal group.

The wagon turned sideways so that the horses were pointed in the direction of the river’s flow, but Malcolm watched the planks continue to spread and grow.

Minerva flapped overhead, keeping pace. “Malcolm!” she shrieked. “Was that the growth spell?” Malcolm could only nod, trying to keep a grip on the side of the wagon even as it sprouted a tiny branch with budding leaves.

“Whee!” said Anth, and Malcolm saw to his horror that his friend’s barrel was spreading roots into the bed of the wagon and elongating up like the trunk of a tree, taking Anth along for the ride. But he didn’t dare let go to help or he might be knocked overboard. He looked to the front and saw Tessa clinging just as grimly, watching the horses, who apparently could swim but did not look remotely happy about it.

How long they went on like that, Malcolm didn’t know, but it was long enough that the river curved southward, carrying them around a big bend that he thought would have to spit them out onto dry land. But no, they careened around and ended up still stuck in the center of the river.

In fact, what seemed like an eternity after that but was probably quite soon, they found themselves literally stuck.

“What’s happening?” Tessa shouted back at Malcolm.

“I’m not–” he began, then stopped. The horses were… standing on something? Had they hit some kind of river reef or sandbar?

“I can see my house from here!” Anth called down to them, and Malcolm looked up at the barrel, which was now quite a tall oak tree with Anth sitting among the branches. Only one other barrel remained, but it was engaged in a similar growth spurt, only more at a diagonal since it had apparently been on its side when Malcolm cast his spell. The rest of the wagon was growing more or less horizontally, but roots being naturally inclined to go downward, the trees that Malcolm now stood on had apparently dug into the riverbed and spread their crowns back and slightly up.

Tessa clambered into the bed of the wagon. “May I be so bold as to ask what you did?”

“I think,” Malcolm said slowly, “that I made us an island.. bridge… raft… thing?”

Minerva flapped down and settled on a tree branch. “This won’t last long, Malcolm. Not even this many trees can continue to withstand the force of the river.”

“We must move quickly, then,” Tessa said. “First we will help Anth climb down, then get on the eastern bank of the river, but then what?”

Malcolm’s stomach rumbled. “We could maybe rest for a while?” he suggested.

Tessa shrugged. “Or we could press on and attempt to make headway in locating Master Tenegal. We’ve come in the wrong direction from where Anth said he was.”

Minerva fluffed her feathers. “You might also consider that your friend is still in need of medical attention.” They looked up at Anth, who was hugging the tree’s trunk and whispering to it, pausing occasionally to press his ear to it and nod.

“So we should probably find another town as soon as possible,” Malcolm said, frowning at the wagon, whose timbers were beginning to shiver. “Whatever we do, we need to decide quickly.”

We should...

  • Rest. That nap in the barrel wasn't enough! (50%, 1 Votes)
  • Look for Master Tenegal. The sooner we find him, the sooner we go home. (50%, 1 Votes)
  • Find the nearest town and get Anth help, STAT. (0%, 0 Votes)

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Episode 8 – The Tallasy Trail

Malcolm planted his feet and squared his shoulders. He held his breath and counted to three. The voices outside grew like the swelling of a storm. He tried desperately to hear any noises from his accompanying barrels but there was nothing.

“Are we going to let ourselves be stolen?” Minerva chided.

“I was trying to warn Anth and Tessa. You know, with my mind like Master Tenegal,” Malcolm whispered.

“Warn them about what?”

“Hang on!” Malcolm shouted as he sprang upward. The lid from his barrel popped off as he jumped out. He had meant to be followed out by majestic red fireworks in the shape of dragons and other, forgotten mythical creatures. Instead, a few yellow daisies began to sprout and stretch out from the barrel after him. “What ho, pirates! Stand down or be bested by Malcolm Fluke, wizard!”

“Oh no,” one of the barrels groaned distantly. Malcolm thought it sounded like Tessa.

All eyes turned upon him. He stood on the back of the wagon among the barrels. The merchants who were still alive were fighting – and dying – quickly along the side of the road. The pirates had pulled another wagon up alongside them, hitching the two together. The pirates who weren’t fighting were unloading the barrels onto their own cart. They promptly stopped what they were doing and drew small swords.

“Perhaps a poor plan,” Minerva said as she took to flight.

“A little help,” Malcolm called to the barrels, his voice quavering. A man came at him and swung his sword in a rather dramatic, ineffective way. Malcolm stumbled backwards and fell.

A more capable man leapt onto the cart. His breath reeked, his face was unshaven, and worst of all he had a dagger an inch from Malcolm’s face.

“A lot of help!” Malcolm batted away the man’s arm with a few, weak magical bursts. It did little to delay the man’s rapid approach.

“Oh seven pits, Malcolm, get out of the way!” Tessa cried. Malcolm jumped away just in time as the wagon began to shake. Barrels rolled down from the upper end. Tessa had gotten out of her barrel and set the others to rolling down. They bowled the one pirate over and fell off the end. They cracked and spilled barley and other grains for trading, they landed upon men, they generally caused chaos.

Malcolm whooped and cheered. Then, he was grabbed by a hand from over the edge of the cart and pulled off.

“It’s you!” He had time to say before the offending arm cut off his airflow. The man grinned. It was the twisted, cruel face of the thief from the bar and the warehouse.

“Where is it, boy? I’ve come for what’s mine!” he snarled. He pricked Malcolm’s ribs with the tip of his blade.

“Ow! I’m not going to give up my friend, not to you, not to anyone,” Malcolm kicked and thrashed at the man. He tried to fumble for a spell, but the man’s arm squeezed again and he began to get dizzy. He mumbled listlessly instead.

“I’m in here,” Anth grumbled. One of the barrels shook. “How do I get out?!”

The color drained from Malcolm’s face, accompanied by a feeling of dread. The thief turned towards the card and grinned. “Well then, that wasn’t so bad,” he said as he hauled Malcolm to his feet. “Let’s collect my bounty.”

As he went to take a step onto the cart, Minerva swooped down. Her talons dragged jagged cuts along the man’s face. He released Malcolm and put his palm to his eye as he cried out. Malcolm spun about and raised a hand, pointing his index finger threateningly at the thief.

“That is what you get when you mess with a wizard! What are those crystals, what do you need them for?”

“Ash ith I’d tell youtthhhh … youtthhh… you!” the man said, though his lip had also been cut by Minerva, so the words dribbled out like spilled milk.

“You’d better!” Malcolm took a breath. He concentrated very hard on the tip of his finger and the space between the thief’s second and third ribs. The man’s face contorted into pain at first, and then twisted into laughter.

“Seith him!” He managed between bursts of laughter.

Two large men appeared from behind and took hold of Malcolm. He had rather forgotten about them. “Oh,” he said. He dropped his finger to his side as one of the men choked the air from him, their arms about his chest and stomach.

Tessa swooped in and beat the two men with the lid to a barrel. Malcolm hardly had a chance to see what had happened before she was pulling him into the cart.

“Can you steer a wagon?!” she shouted, her face red as she dropped him into the back among the barrels.

“I can,” Anth cried distantly. “Will you let me out?”

“No, I mean, not really—“ Malcolm began.

“Nevermind!” Tessa cried and scrambled up to the front of the wagon. Before Malcolm knew it, they were on the move racing down the street. The wagon shook as though it would fall apart. Behind them he could see clouds of dirt rising.

“They’re following us,” Malcom warned, holding onto the railing at the back of the wagon. “I didn’t know you could drive a wagon!”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Now what’s so special about these gems? The man must be more than an ordinary thief to even know about them.”

“Do you think he’s trying to find Master Tenegal too?” Malcolm asked as he climbed up to the front of the wagon.

“If he is, it’s not for anything good—ah!” The reigns jerked in Tessa’s hands. The horses slowed before a rushing river that blocked their way forward.

“Ahhh, that’s not good.” Malcolm put his face in his hands.

“Not just any river, the Tallasy.” Tessa wrung the straps of the reigns in her hands. “I’ve heard there’s a ferry along the bank east of here, but they might catch us. What are we going to do?”

Well, I don’t know much about wagons, but I think we should…

  • Caulk the wagon and float it across… really, do you think you honestly have time for that? (60%, 3 Votes)
  • Head East along the river to the ferry. (20%, 1 Votes)
  • Plow the wagon into the river and hope that you can cross it. (20%, 1 Votes)

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Episode 7 – A Barrel of Protagonists

“Keep him quiet or shut him up,” Tessa said, watching the merchants moving around their carts. “We’ll have an opportunity in a moment.” Anth’s giggles only got louder.

“Oh, oh, I know just the spell!” Malcolm cracked his wrists with two quick flicks and dropped into a dramatic stance, his arms extended before him. Before anyone could intervene, he swept his hands to either side. “Shh!” he hissed.

Everything fell into silence. Tessa turned to stare at him, and Minerva tilted her head and, if she had one, Malcolm imagined her raising an eyebrow. Anth looked back and forth, then snorted with noiseless laughter.

“Oh no,” Malcolm said, “I silenced the whole alley!”

“You did no such thing,” Minerva said from Malcolm’s shoulder. “We are simply… impressed.”

“Yeah,” Tessa said, “good work.” She nodded towards the merchants. “Now’s our chance, hustle up.” Tessa grabbed Anth by the wrist and winced as the crystrals scratched her hand. “Yow,” she muttered, pulled him along. Tessa reached out with her other hand and grabbed something. Malcolm blinked, and then Anth was wearing a cloak.

“Tessa,” Malcolm whispered, “how are we going to –”

“Hey!” one of the merchants shouted.

Malcolm’s stomach did a flip.

“Get away from there you urchin!” A second merchant joined the shouting and in moments the entire group had moved to the other side of the carts, their yells growing increasingly incoherent.

“In here,” Tessa said, grabbing Anth around the waist and hoisting him up into the back of a cart. She grunted at his weight. “Did you weigh this much before you turned into a rock monster?”

Anth extended his arms as he went, his lips flapping as he did what Malcolm assumed was a very poor imitation of some bird. Tessa climbed up after him and they disappeared into the sea of barrels.

“Is this even safe?” Malcolm asked, keeping his robes close as he followed them up. “What if we get caught?”

“Malcolm,” Tessa said, tapping on each of the barrels until she found one that seemed satisfactory. “Merchants never know how much they’re going to buy before each trip, there’s always a few empty barrels.” She reached and slid one finger around the inside of the lid. It popped off with a quiet sound and Tessa moved it aside. “Now help me get Anth in here.”

Malcolm helped lift Anth’s definitely increased bulk up over barrel, and then they lowered him in, feet first. Tessa grabbed the lid and pressed it shut over him. Anth mouthed something, but Malcolm didn’t think he looked worried. Mostly curious.

“Tessa, what if –”

“Nope, just get in.” Tessa popped the lid off another of the empty barrels and linked her hands to give Malcolm a boost.

“Are you sure about –”

“Yes. Duck now, please.” Tessa put the lid over Malcolm and smiled before pushing it down. “It’ll be fine. Don’t try any magic.”

“I wasn’t –”

The lid popped back into place and Malcolm could only think of the lid on a sarcophagus. Malcolm hadn’t realized how tired he was. He should…

“Malcolm,” Minerva said, “wake up. Wake up!”

Malcolm shook his head and hit the side of the barrel. “Ow.”

“I believe we are being stolen.”

“What?”

“The merchants are being robbed, and the robbers are stealing their cargo. We are their cargo.”

“Oh.”

What's the plan?

  • Surprise attack! No one expects the cargo to fight back. (100%, 6 Votes)
  • Are you crazy? You aren't even sure if this is a robbery. Wait and see how this plays out. (0%, 0 Votes)

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Episode 6 – Here Today, Gone Today

Malcolm took a deep breath. “If we stay here, they’ll come after us until they get what they want. We need to run.”

“Then you had better run quickly,” Minerva said, flapping skyward. “Or you won’t make it.”

Tessa helped Anth to his feet and they stumbled towards the nearest gate. Malcolm idly wished that Anth would stop giggling every few steps, but it couldn’t be helped. How was he going to get the crystals out of Anth? And find Master Tenegal with them? One thing at a time, he told himself sternly. First, escape.

A crowd was gathering in front of the gate, not because it was closing, but because some kind of farmer was having an energetic argument with the guards there. The man’s face was red from shouting, and the gate stood half-open because he had wedged his cart underneath it.

“Come on, Reg, you know me!” the farmer said. “I’m not a criminal!”

“I know, Jock, but rules is rules,” the guard who must have been Reg explained. “They say close the gates, we close ’em. Nobody gets in or out.”

“I told you, if I don’t get back to the farm, I won’t make it back in the morning with–”

“–more stock to sell, yes, I heard you the first eight times.” Reg shook his head. “You’re trying my patience, there, now get your cart inside or it’ll be a cold room in the gaol for you tonight.”

“Malcolm,” Tessa whispered. “Hold on to Anth for a moment, I have an idea. Be ready to move on my signal.”

“What signal?” Malcolm asked as he slid his arm under Anth’s, but Tessa was already moving. He grunted as the man’s weight leaned on him. What did Anth eat, a dozen eggs for breakfast every morning? He watched Tessa disappear into the crowd and wondered what she was up to.

“Why’s it so cold, Fluke?” Anth mumbled.

“It’s not, you lummox, it’s your fever.” His friend’s skin was actually starting to make him uncomfortably hot. Maybe some kind of cooling spell–

The farmer’s horse whinnied loudly and bolted, leaving the flabbergasted farmer to stare at its retreating form.

“Get back here, Horace!” The farmer jumped down from his cart and took off after the animal. Reg and the other guard hesitated, then pursued the running farmer. Malcolm watched slack-jawed along with the rest of the crowd, some of which had started sniggering. Then he realized that now was their chance to get out.

“Come on, Anth.” He hobbled forward, supporting his shivering friend. They ambled through the gate along with a jumble of other people, who were eager to continue watching the horse chase. Other carts stood in the road, having apparently been prevented from entering the town by the same guards that had tried to keep the farmer in.

Tessa appeared next to them. “We can hide among these other merchants and leave once the gates are closed,” she said. “Perhaps we might even hunch a ride from one.”

“Hitch a ride,” Anth said with a giggle. “You hitch rides.” Tessa glared at him and said nothing. Malcolm suppressed a snort.

They milled about among the carts and horses and assorted people on foot, trying to look inconspicuous. Eventually, Tessa guided them over to a lone tree by the side of the road, and they sat Anth down under it.

Minerva squawked at them from a branch overhead. “Anth is getting worse, Malcolm.”

“I know, I know,” he muttered. “I was thinking maybe a cooling spell to bring his fever down, but I’ve never cast one on a person before.”

“I wish Master Tenegal would stop moving,” Anth groaned. “It doesn’t half tickle.”

Malcolm was getting tickled plenty by the sweat running down his back, but kept it to himself.

“Is there anything you can do to remove the crystals, perhaps?” Tessa asked.

Malcolm frowned and blushed. “I tried to magic the insides of an egg out once. I was tired of getting eggshells in my omelette.”

“And?”

“Let’s just say I got eggshells in a lot more places than that. Do you know how hard it is to clean egg off the ceiling?”

Minerva flapped her wings. “Would this really be the safest place to attempt spells?”

“Perhaps not, but can we move Anth without harming him?” Tessa asked.

“I don’t know,” Malcolm said slowly, lowering his voice when a nearby traveller wandered too close. “But Minerva has a point. The mayor and the rest will probably be coming after us once they realize we got out of town.”

“Don’t want that,” Anth said dreamily. “They’ll give us such a kicking.”

“Can you walk, Anth?” Malcolm asked.

He nodded and giggled. “I can walk, I can swim… I can probably even fly!” He flapped his crystal-studded arms a few times to illustrate.

“Great,” Malcolm said, running a hand over his face. “You and Minerva will have great fun, I’m sure.”

Tessa chewed on a strand of hair. “Our options are limited. We can either stay here and try to cure Anth before leaving, or at least stabilize him…”

“…or we can try to move,” Malcolm finished.

“I know a somewhat secluded spot a few miles east,” Tessa said. “We’d at least be a bit safer there. Or we can try to hide on one of these carts. Or bargain for passage, if you have any coin.”

This made Malcolm’s mouth wrinkle sourly. He didn’t have much money, and had hoped to save it for food or lodgings, but this might be more important.

All right, I think we should...

  • Get to that safer place you mentioned. (50%, 2 Votes)
  • Try to stow away on one of these carts. We need to get away fast. (50%, 2 Votes)
  • Stay put. Anth is obviously too far gone to move. (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Find out where these merchants are going and see what they'd charge to take us. (0%, 0 Votes)

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Episode 5 – No Laughing Matter

“What exactly are we seeing here?” Anth asked as he paced the roof, keeping his feet away from the glass panes of the windows.

“Well, I don’t recognize any of them. It doesn’t seem like we’ll be able to go in and sneak the crystals away, either,” Tessa put in. “Would you stop pacing?”

“Shh, both of you.” Malcolm winced. “I’m trying to concentrate, and you’re giving me a headache.” He put his face against the window. Blue light shone through the glass, turning the five figures around the crystals into shadows. “It seems they’re doing their own divination; the thief must have brought the crystals. But what are they divining?”

“The health signets might have some magical residue in them.” Minerva perched on Malcolm’s shoulder, picking idly at his head. “Think.”

“Magical residue? Like dirt.” Malcolm pinched the bridge of his nose. “What was it Master Tenegal said… the M.U.D. formula, Magical Undulation Discrepancy!  You can use something of a magician’s to track him by his MUD, his magical signature.”

“Then let’s go down there and stop them! They can’t be up to anything good,” Anth said, stepping forward. The panes creaked beneath his weight.

“We can’t just go in, it’s dangerous. There’s a lot of energy involved.” Malcolm waved his hands through the air as if to explain. Anth’s face remained blank. Malcolm sighed.

“I agree, maybe if we—“ Tessa began.

“We don’t have time.” Anth took another step forward. The window cracked underneath his foot and gave way. Tessa and Malcolm reached but only caught his sleeves as he fell backwards into the warehouse, screaming.

“Anth!” Tessa cried.

There was a loud crash and the blue light of the crystal broke and dissipated. Malcolm scuttled forward to the broken window and peered inside, gaping.

“We better go get him out,” Malcolm said, his voice quavering. He looked to Tessa briefly before jumping down in the window. To his surprise, she jumped after him. Malcolm mumbled half remembered words and a strong current of air picked them up and carried them.

“It’s working!” Tessa grabbed Malcolm’s shoulder, trying to find a balance as they flew towards the floor.

“Too well!” Malcolm said as they flew towards the robed figures.

“Make it stop!”

“I wish I could. Brace for impact!” Malcolm shielded his face with his arms and kicked his legs out as they collided with the shadowy group. The wind gusted and sent them rolling across the floor.

Malcolm rubbed his head to clear the pain from it. One of the figures loomed over him. The hood of his cloak was cast aside and his sharp blue eyes glowered at Malcolm.

“That beard—Mayor Thornton?” Malcolm crawled backwards.

“Fluke,” Thornton growled. He turned his head back over his shoulder. “Elliott, tell the guards to close all of the gates. No one leaves the city without my word! We have matters to tend to here.”

“Malcolm!” Tessa yelled from across the room. He turned in time to see her knee a heavy set man in the groin. The man doubled over, and Malcolm could tell by the handle-bar mustache that he was the city’s wisest librarian.

“What is going on here?” Malcolm scrambled to his feet.

“Nothing you need to know,” Thornton said and drew a bent wand from a cord around his waist. He pointed it at Malcolm.

“Woah!” Malcolm said a word and turned aside a bolt of lightning, which blew a hole in the wall behind him.

“Fluke, get over here, it’s Anth!”

Malcolm followed the voice to the pile of rubble at the center of the warehouse. Anth was bent over on the ground, and it looked as though the crystals had been grafted onto his skin. Parts of his forearms glowed a dim blue where they protruded.

“What’s happening to him?”

“Crystal exposure,” Minerva said.

“Very dangerous,” Malcolm added. He looked back to the robed figures that were quickly surrounding them. “We need to run. Can you move, Anth?”

“Tenegal is moving along the Tallasy river, north by east,” Anth said as he staggered to his feet. He grabbed his head and nearly fell. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll clear the way. Meet me by the east gate,” Malcolm pointed Tessa and Anth to the hole in the wall.

“What are you going to—“

“Go!”

As they started to run, Malcolm raised his hands in the air and began to chant. The figures all turned towards him. Minerva landed on his shoulder.

“Are you sure this is wise?”

“Shh, I’m working.” Malcolm shut his eyes against the warm light that glowed between his fingers. The light swelled and filled the building.

“Bind him, kill him!” the mayor stuttered, his wand poised to fire again. “Just stop him!”

The robed figures formed a ring around Malcolm. One drew a sword, another a tome he began to read from. The mayor shrieked and all the others stopped. He jerked his arm backwards and a bird erupted from his sleeve. The man with the sword opened his mouth to yell and coughed instead. A bird wriggled wetly from between his lips, stretching its wings and taking flight.

“Truly, birds?” Minerva clucked.

“You are my greatest inspiration,” Malcolm said, his knees giving way so that he almost fell. He whispered a last word and the room was filled with birds. They crept from underneath shoes, inside pants, appearing as if they had always been there. The figures began to wave their arms to bat them away.

“I suggest we make our escape now.”

#

Malcolm ran through the alleyways and bystreets, keeping to the shadows. He found Tessa and Anth slumped in an alley looking out over the gate that was slowly lowering. He could still hear the sound of hundreds of birds leaving the warehouse.

“What did you do back there?” Anth asked, his words slurred. “Birdboy. You look like your stupid pet.”

“I am no pet,” Minerva squawked.

“I took care of things. The birds won’t keep them busy forever, though.” Malcolm dusted himself off, sending scatterings of black feathers everywhere.

“Malcolm, Anth has a fever…” She looked at him with worry in her eyes.

“It’s the crystal exposure. It will only get worse,” Minerva said.

“Is there anything you can do about it, Malcolm?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Malcolm smacked his forehead repeatedly. “Agh. How could this happen? A doctor would be better. Master Dellicas in town.” Malcolm kneeled in front of Anth. “How do you feel?”

“I know where Tenegal is,” Anth began, and then his voice turned into a fit of laughter. “It kind of… tickles.”

“We can’t go back, Malcolm. The mayor was there, and the constable too. Something is going on, I… I thought I knew them,” Tessa said. “What are we going to do? The gate is closing. They’re going to be looking for us.”

Malcolm heard the guard’s bells ringing through the city as he watched the gates descend.

We have to...

  • Leave before the gates close. You'll have to do your best to help Anth! (100%, 5 Votes)
  • Stay in town to find a doctor for Anth. (0%, 0 Votes)

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Episode 4 – Two For One Special

A single drop of sweat slid between Malcolm’s eyes. Anth cracked his knuckles again, one finger at a time, and Malcolm winced involuntarily with each pop. “Umm,” he muttered, trying to think of a way out of the situation that wasn’t likely to make someone angry.

Malcolm’s eyes darted between Anth’s readied fists and Tess’ piercing gaze. “I’ll take… both of you?”

Anth and Tess exchanged glances.

“Yeah,” Malcolm said, his confidence returning, “if I’m going to take friends, I should take as many as I can! Besides, Master Tenegal always says that delegation goes hand in hand with success.”

“Does that mean you’re our leader?” Anth asked.

“Yeah,” Tess interjected before Malcolm could reply, “I think he is.”

Malcolm groaned.

“Hey,” Anth said, sporting an amused smirk, “you said it yourself, it’s your challenge. What’s the plan, brave leader?”

“Well,” Malcolm paused for a moment, “oh yeah, I sent Minerva after that stranger in the pub.”

“When you said he had ‘some of Master Tenegal’s things’ what did you mean, exactly?” Tess asked.

“He had Master Tenegal’s health signets!” Malcolm nearly tripped over his own legs as he spun around. “Okay, we need to find Minerva! Let’s go!” He grabbed the handle and gave the door a dramatic tug, staggering back a few steps with the weight of it.

“Right,” Anth said, “which way did she go?”

“I have no idea,” Malcolm said, looking both ways before exiting the building. No sign of Old Tom.

“Then it is a good thing indeed I decided to follow you.”

Malcolm looked up, shielding his eyes from the sun, and saw Minerva perched above the doorway. “Minerva!” His smile faded when he realized what that meant. “What happened to the guy with the health signets?”

“He and few equally unsavory individuals are holed up in a warehouse. Petty thieves, I suspect.”

Malcolm’s face lit up again. “So we can get them back!”

“We could try, yes, but – oh?” Minerva titled her head as Anth and Tessa followed Malcolm into the street. “I see you have recruited some associates.”

“You? Fantastic,” Anth said. “Just what this trip needed.”

“Hey Minerva,” Tessa said, smiling.

“Good day Carmatessa,” Minerva chirped, “And hello, Anthracite.”

“Don’t talk to me,” Anth said.

“As you wish,” Minerva said, leaping from the building to Malcolm’s shoulder with a single flap of her wings. “How is your father, Carmatessa?”

“Bitter that I don’t want to follow in his footsteps, unless you meant what’s new?”

“Either way, I was merely curious. It’s been some time since I’ve had to requisition components from the dead, and I miss our chats.”

“Requisition components from the dead,” Anth muttered to himself. “Grave robbing is what we usually call it.”

“Ordinarily,” Minerva said, unperturbed, “I’d suggest you take your objections up with the mayor, since he regulates policies regarding component collection. But I get the feeling you are simply making conversation, so I will refrain.”

Anth shook his head and took a deep breath. “Fluke. Do you have a plan yet or are we just going to play how’s your neighbor with Polly here?”

“We need to get those health signets back!” Malcolm said without hesitation.

“Why?”

“Because they’re Master Tenegal’s?”

“He’s not around to miss them.”

“What about justice?” Tessa said, “Or honor, or any of that stuff?”

“You want justice?” Anth replied, “Report them to the town guards on the way out. Do you really think they know anything? They’re just thieves.”

“The health signets could have enough of a residual aura to be useful in divination,” Minerva said, picking at something caught in her feathers.

“Hm,” Anth grunted. “Who would be performing this divination?”

“Oh, I know just the thing,” Malcolm said, twisting awkwardly as he tried to pull his spellbook from his backpack, “if I can just get my – whoops!” Malcolm’s feet slid out from under him and he hit the ground in a heap.

Tessa giggled. Minerva, still perched on Malcolm’s shoulder, stared at him for a moment before resuming her preening.

“Yeah,” Anth said, “I don’t think the divination is going to play out. You want my advice? We should leave this to the guards, and hit the road.”

Malcolm pushed himself up and reseated his backpack. He furrowed his brow for a moment, then raised one finger meaningfully. “Okay.”

Here's the plan

  • Those health signets are our only lead! Break up the thieves, get the signets, and then it's divination time. (50%, 3 Votes)
  • Why risk getting beaten up, stabbed, or worse? The captain of the guard is sure to jump at the chance to crack down on some criminals, let them handle it, then grab the signets. (33%, 2 Votes)
  • Anth is right, the signets are a dead end. Try to find a new lead! (17%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 6

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Episode 3 – Don’t Worry, Bee Happy

Malcolm raised his hands and made a complicated gesture. “Radulum melissum!” Then he folded his arms smugly over his chest. “That will teach you to trouble a wizard on a quest.”

Old Tom’s nose wrinkled in confusion as his cheeks began to bulge and ripple. His eyes widened and, with a muffled scream, he opened his mouth.

A horde of bees swarmed out in a cone, making straight for Malcolm. He yelped and raced for the door, having at least the presence of mind to use the same one as the mysterious stranger. Even out in the open air, however, the bees continued to chase him, and he waved his hat at them as he tried to catch a glimpse of his quarry.

“Minerva!” he yelled. “Do something!”

She regarded him coolly from several feet overhead. “Like what?”

“Look for that person with Master Tenegal’s health signets while I deal with these–” He gestured at the bees, wincing as one of them stung him in an unmentionable spot.

There had to be a counterspell for this, he thought as he staggered down the street, attracting bemused glances from even the supposedly blind beggars. “Mussilem muludar?” he muttered, nearly colliding with a juggler who briefly seemed to be tossing bees along with butternut squash. He tried to reverse the summoning gesture but kept unconsciously swatting at the air. Maybe something more general?

“Take off your pack!” someone shouted at him. He whirled around trying to see who, but the cloud of insects obscured his vision.

“Never!” he shouted back. “There are rare and valuable magical items in–”

“Suit yourself,” the person interjected, and without warning Malcolm was pushed face-first into the fountain in the center of the village square.

He surfaced, sputtering and spitting up what he hoped was not too much horse saliva. “Who did that?” he demanded, pulling off his soaked hat and wiping water out of his eyes. “If my spell components are damaged–”

“Oh, shut it, Fluke,” the voice said. “It got the bees off, didn’t it?”

When Malcolm’s vision finally cleared, he saw the tall–or at least, taller than him–and burly form of Anthracite Smithson, youngest son of old Wayback Smithson, the village’s, well, smith.

“Be that as it may, Anth,” Malcolm said, “you might have asked first!”

“You’re welcome, you ungrateful squirt.”

Malcolm turned up his nose while simultaneously trying to examine his gear, which had luckily stayed out of the water. “I have no time for petty niceties. I am on an important quest and cannot be delayed.”

Anth grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What’s that, then? Old Ten Gallon send you out to get some pickled frog eyes or something?”

“I will thank you not to call Master Tenegal that, and we use frog legs, not eyes.” He scanned the skies, looking for Minerva. “If you must know, this is a test of my skills and cunning.”

“Is Old Tom a part of that test?”

Malcolm followed Anth’s pointed finger to see a much angrier looking Old Tom stomping down the street in his direction, fists clenched. He tried to wrack his brain for another offensive spell, but could only think of one to make lizards blink. He wasn’t even sure why he knew that one.

“In here!” someone said, waving a pale hand from a nearby doorway.

Anth grabbed Malcolm by the neck of his robes and yanked him into the building. Inside, it was cool and dark; it took Malcolm’s eyes a few moments to adjust. When they did, he saw that they were in a wood-paneled room with dried flowers arranged tastefully in vases on each wall. In the center of the room was an open coffin.

The pale hand belonged to Carmatessa Graves, the undertaker’s daughter. To her father’s eternal chagrin, she had orange hair and a mass of freckles, which she did her best to cover with thick makeup and black hair dye. Malcolm found her pale blue eyes watery and unsettling.

“What have you done now, Malcolm?” she asked. “I heard Master Tenegal has left.”

Malcolm stood up straight and puffed out his chest, nearly unbalancing himself and falling backward. “He has left, and I am charged with the task of finding him.”

“By whom?”

“Master Tenegal himself, of course!”

“Is that so? And how did you plan on following him? On foot? Or did you have a flight spell handy?”

Anth sighed. “Don’t antagonize him, Tess. He already did something to get Old Tom worked up. Something to do with bees, I expect.”

“It was not–” Malcolm bit down on his retort. “There was a stranger in the pub who had some of Master Tenegal’s things. If I can find him, I’ll be closer to finding Master Tenegal.”

Tess stared at him. “You intend to go by yourself to… wherever? That doesn’t sound wise.”

“I have Minerva!” Malcolm protested.

“Tess is right,” Anth said. “You shouldn’t go alone. Father doesn’t need me now that the planting is finished. I’ll go with you.”

Malcolm shook his head. “No, no, this is a test so–”

“That’s not fair, Anth,” Tess said. “I want to go. I’m tired of being stuck in here with all these corpses.”

“But–”

“What good will you be? At least I know how to use a sword.”

“I know how to move quietly, and I have a horse and wagon!”

“Ahem!” Malcolm cleared his throat, but failed to halt the argument. He tried it again but louder. Finally, he decided to try tiptoeing out while they were distracted.

“Malcolm!” Tess shouted. “You decide. Which one of us do you want to come along with you?”

“Yeah, Fluke,” Anth said, cracking his knuckles. “Pick.”

You must gather your party before venturing forth...

  • Take both, because you hate conflict and also they could both be useful. (60%, 6 Votes)
  • Take Carmatessa, because she has sneakiness and people skills. (20%, 2 Votes)
  • Take Anthracite, because he'll be good in a fight and may beat you up if you don't pick him. (10%, 1 Votes)
  • Take neither, because this is your test and you have to do it yourself! (10%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 10

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Categories: Chapter 1 | Tags: , | 3 Comments

Episode 2 – Ale’s Well That Ends Well

“Is this really the best choice?” Minerva squawked.

“It will be just—ahh,” Malcolm stammered and stepped sideways as he left the tower. An elephant labored by, putting its foot where Malcolm had been only a moment ago. A cloud of dust and grime settled over him. The elephant and the cart it pulled trundled off down the hill towards the lower town.

“Watch where you’re going!” the man shouted from the back of his elephant, his face a contorted mess of wrinkles.

“Fine. It will be just fine, Minerva.” Malcolm straightened his cloak and patted the dust out of it as he crossed the street. “I have a reputation around town. I help people, so they’ll be more than happy to tell us where Master Tenegal went.”

“If you say so.”

“And if this is a test I’ll definitely find someone at the pub. Maybe a young boy looking for his father?”

“You think Master Tenegal has fathered a child?”

“What? No,” Malcolm scoffed. “But that’s the way it always works in stories. Students are given a test that incorporates a tale of morality. Help the boy find his father and Master Tenegal will appear and give me my Master’s Cap.” Malcolm clapped his hands together, beaming.

“That sounds…” Minerva perched on Malcolm’s shoulder, beating a clump of dirt from his hair with a wing. “Simple.”

“Ow, cut it out. No, not simple. No doubt there will be some kind of sacrifice. I may have to give you away to the poor boy.” Malcolm waved absently at Minerva as he crossed through the town square. Musicians begged coins and street peddlers offered wares, but Malcolm had eyes only for the pub ahead.

“I think not.” Minerva sniffed and clicked her beak testily.

Malcolm shouldered open the door to the pub. The air was musty with spilled ale and boiled meats. The light in the room was poorly filtered through a window that was mostly shuttered with wooden planks. Malcolm squinted to make out what patrons were there. Old Tom sat at the counter shuffling cards beside a stranger with a wide brimmed cap, and James Well sat at a table with a red haired lady.

“I do not see this young boy–” Minerva began.

“People of Three Horns Pub,” Malcolm said, folding his arms across his chest in a way he imagined gave him an air of both dignity and scholarly knowledge. “I am in search of Master Tenegal.”

“He’s not here,” James said, “and you owe my father for the better of three flower pots you broke last week.”

“Well, l-let’s not be hasty.” Malcolm’s shoulders fell. He held his hands up pleadingly. “He asked for a growing formula. It’s not my fault they grew right out of their pots.”

“Well handled,” Minerva said.

“What about you two?” Malcolm straightened again, crossing quickly to the bar while his cheeks still burned. “Do you have news of Master Tenegal?”

“That old man who’s always causing a fuss in old town about the cosmic alignment of the…” Old Tom waved his hand through the air searchingly. “Platypus star?”

“It’s the Platypostar, Tom, and it is a very real concern,” Malcolm said. “Where is he?”

“Last time I saw him, he was headed for the east gate with his cart and that old donkey of his.”

“With Castamere?” Malcolm gaped. “He would have told me if he was going on a trip.”

“Yes, it’s very sad. Now would you let me drink my ale in peace?” Old Tom turned his back to Malcolm and tipped his mug to his lips.

“What manners,” Minerva said. “This plan is coming together nicely. Perhaps a gentler tact is in order?”

“Be quiet, you—“ Malcolm froze; a glint of sapphire caught his eye from the counter. He squeezed in between Old Tom and the stranger, his backpack knocking into something hard. He didn’t have time to bother checking what it had been. “Hey, what is that?”

A glass hit the floor and shattered.

“Nothing for you to mind,” the stranger said, folding his hands over the gems.

“Those are Master Tenegal’s! They’re magical health signets, I’d bet my life on it. He wouldn’t leave those behind. Where did you get them?”

“I said it’s nothing for you to mind.” The stranger stood, a good head taller than Malcolm. “I found them, now get before I find my boot in your craw.”

“Malcolm,” Old Tom shouted, slamming his hand on the counter.

It was only then that Malcolm noticed the ale dripping down the man’s beard, the shattered glass on the counter. He tried to check his backpack but ended up doing an awkward spin instead. Old Tom cocked his arm back. Malcolm tried to retreat but Old Tom’s fist was faster and caught him in the jaw.

Malcolm flew backwards, hit a chair. He would have been fine had he not got caught up in his cloak, which sent him sprawling backwards onto the floor. His head hit first, and stars danced in front of his eyes. His legs propped over the chair he’d fallen over.

“I wore two different pairs of socks today. Isn’t that funny, Minerva?” Malcolm squeaked, his one blue and one red striped sock hanging above his head. Old Tom appeared above them, his face red.

“I believe your considerable charm has run out.” Minerva’s beak clicked at Malcolm’s hand. “Time to get up.”

“I see that.” Malcolm got to his feet unsteadily, just in time to see the stranger disappear out the back. “I think my jaw is loose.”

“More will be loose soon. I suggest you do something.”

“Yes, Fluke. Do something.” Old Tom glowered down at him, balling his hand into a fist.

Fight or flight is kicking in, adrenaline soars…

  • You're a wizard! You can deal with Old Tom in a snap and get after that stranger. (56%, 5 Votes)
  • Is that a two-headed earwig on the wall over there?! Distract Old Tom and run out the back door! (33%, 3 Votes)
  • He doesn’t look so big, and he’s mostly bark… probably. Punch him in the nose. (11%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 9

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Episode 1 – A Starting Gun of Sorts

“Okay, concentrate and flick… just so!” Malcolm repeated the instructions to himself again and again, visualizing the poses he had memorized from one of his spellbooks. With a sweep of his left hand and a quick flick of his right, the potted plant on the table detonated.

“Yeow!” Malcolm yelped and threw his hands over his face as shards of clay and clumps of dirt bombarded him. A few flaming embers settled on the sleeves of his robe and he swatted at them madly, mindful of the cost of yet another new robe. With the immediate threat to his outfit dealt with, Malcolm surveyed the room.

The table had to be repaired, but Malcolm could fix that with a simple spell before Master Tenegal found out. At least, the spell looked simple in the book. But so had the plant growth spell he just tried. Malcolm sighed. The rest of the room seemed untouched. Master Tenegal had anything of real importance warded, of course, but Malcolm still felt relieved he hadn’t torched any of the bookcases or paintings lining the walls.

“At least I can make fire,” Malcolm muttered to no one in particular.

Malcolm thumbed through the spellbook hooked to his robe, and though he was looking for the ‘domestic repair’ spell, if he stumbled upon something like ‘sudden competence’ that would be fine too. The back cover of the book snapped shut as Malcolm reached the end. No repair spell. Naturally, it would be in his other spellbook. Malcolm could imagine Master Tenegal’s lecture on the importance of categorizing his spells quite vividly.

With another sigh, Malcolm moved to leave, opening the door of the practice room and stepping into the hall. He looked to his left. Empty. He looked to right. Also empty. Then he looked to his left again and an orb of whirling colors collided with his face, knocking him to the ground from surprise rather than force.

“Gah!” Malcolm shouted, waving his arms in a vague mockery of personal defense.

“Test, test!” the orb squawked and Malcolm stopped, blinking a few times to focus. No, not an orb. A parrot. Minerva, Master Tenegal’s familiar.

“Minerva,” Malcolm said, straightening his robe and propping himself up, “you, uh, startled me. That’s all. I was just on my way to –”

“Nope, nope!” Minerva replied, circling Malcolm. Malcolm squinted as her wings pushed air into his face.

“Um. Okay. I guess I’m not?” Malcolm got to his feet. He tried to follow Minerva as she flew around him, but the immediate nausea made him decide against continuing. “What do you mean, test?”

“Can’t tell you, can’t tell you!”

“And stop repeating yourself! It’s frustrating.”

Minerva laughed as only a parrot could. “I shall, but only because you are so eloquent,” Minerva said, landing on Malcolm’s shoulder.

Malcolm set off at once towards the kitchen, pausing to glance in the dining room. No one there. Odd, Malcolm told himself, Master Tenegal must be busy with something. That meant Malcolm could surprise him with an extravagant breakfast and seem not only capable but proactive! A win-win situation.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, Malcolm began gathering ingredients to make the ten-headed hydra pancakes Master Tenegal was so fond of. He had just picked up the eggs when Minerva said softly, “Master Tenegal isn’t here.”

Malcolm dropped everything and spun towards Minerva, forgetting she was on his shoulder and turning for some time before he stopped. Crack! Malcolm looked down. A gooey mass of yolks, whites and shells marked the valiant last stand of the eggs against the smooth tile of the kitchen floor.

“I will have to go to the market for – Master Tenegal is gone?” Malcolm turned, just his head this time, and stared at Minerva.

“In the sense that he is not in this tower or, as far as I can tell, the surrounding countryside, yes. He is gone.” Minerva tugged at something caught in her feathers while she talked.

“I,” Malcolm began, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, “do not know what to do.”

“I was not joking when I suggested this was a test.”

“But you don’t know?”

“I do not.”

“Uh-huh. So… what now?”

“I will leave that to your discretion.”

“My discretion? You’re the brilliant familiar to the powerful wizard!”

“And if this is indeed a test, then it is not mine.”

“I see. Fine. Whatever!”

“You are handling this well.”

“No thanks to you.” Malcolm looked around the kitchen. “Uh,” he said, his eyes flicking back to Minerva, “okay, Master Tenegal probably wants me to take some initiative, right?”

Minerva said nothing.

“Then I will! We should find him, right?”

“That is one course of action.”

“For a familiar, you’re not very helpful. Can you at least tell me what to take?”

“An interesting question. You can’t use a sword, you don’t know how to wear armor, and I don’t trust you with any of Master Tenegal’s artifacts.”

“So nothing?”

“It is truly a wonder you secured this apprenticeship. Might I suggest food? Water?”

“Right, good start.” Malcolm ducked into the storage closet and grabbed a backpack made of thick leather. Then he moved around the kitchen, taking bread, salted jerky, dried fruits, and generally everything in the box marked ’emergency travel supplies.’

With his backpack well stocked, Malcolm nodded to Minerva. “Now?”

“Since Master Tenegal is not in the tower, and you wish to find him, I recommend going outside.”

Malcolm moved down the main stairwell slowly, the full weight of the situation sinking in like a hippo in the mud. “Are you going with me?” he asked as he stepped out of the tower’s front door.

“If you wish me to. I am not without my obligations in Master Tenegal’s tower, but many of those tasks can be delegated to the spirits. I could accompany you.”

Malcolm put a hand over his eyes to shield them from the morning sun. Nearly noon and so much to do. “I don’t know where to start,” he said.

Minerva let out a bizarre sound Malcolm could only assume was a sigh.

“The nearest large town is Fendale, as you know. The Scouts, as you also know, are in the opposite direction, at Fort Bastion. Or you could, if you felt like leveraging your reputation with the locals, ask around here before leaving.”

Ok, let's head to...

  • The pub! Someone must have caught word of Master Tenegal's departure. (71%, 12 Votes)
  • Fort Bastion. The Scouts know how to find people. (24%, 4 Votes)
  • Fendale, a city that large has no shortage of wizards, surely one of them knows something about Master Tenegal. (6%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 17

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The Greatest Adventure

Hello, and welcome to our interactive story: The Magical Misfortunes of Malcolm Fluke!

Every Tuesday, we hope to delight you with a new flash fiction that is a piece of a serial story. The story follows a young wizard named Malcolm Fluke, and the adventure is up to you!

At the end of every story, you will find a poll with three choices on what Malcolm should do next. Think of it as a choose your own adventure book, and everyone gets a hand in picking what will happen next. In addition to the poll, you’re free to write in your own suggestion in the comment section of the blog post.

The Magical Misfortunes of Malcolm Fluke will begin Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011. The polls for each episode will be open from the day the story is posted until the following Thursday at 11:59PM, EST, at which time a choice will be locked in and the cycle will begin anew every Tuesday.

The stories will be written by an alternating cast of authors:

Valerie Valdes, whom you can find on her blog As The Moon Climbs, or on her Twitter.

Zachary Tringali, found at his blog The Journey Book, or on his Twitter.

Steven Gordon, found at his blog The Making of Stuff, or on his Twitter.

We hope you’ll join us and enjoy the story!

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